Do you know what the most contagious disease is in Britain today, one that’s sweeping the nation and getting worse with every generation? It’s not flu. It’s not chicken pox. It’s not even the common cold*. It’s TMI - Too Much Information – and left unchecked it can cause more damage than any of those medical conditions…especially to your personal brand. Let me give you an example:
- A friend was recently sitting at work, eating his sandwich, when a colleague at a nearby desk loudly announced she was off for her smear test. His face took on the expression of the guy in the picture and the rest of his sandwich went untouched.
- Which was a similar expression to the one I had the day I opened my boss’s calendar on Outlook to set up a meeting (everyone who reported to her had access) and saw an appointment labelled ‘Bikini wax’.
- Or the time I read a string of updates on LinkedIn from someone who had automatically linked it to their Twitter feed, which charted the progress of her drunken night out with the girls…in lurid detail.
In each case the person had given no thought to the line that exists between revealing a bit of your personal life to show you’re human and revealing things that conjour up a picture of you in others’ minds they’d prefer not to have.
(Especially if it involves you lying on your back with your legs akimbo!)
Now, I’m an advocate of offering people a bit of personal with your brand, but as I’ve clearly set out in a previous blog, it should be done with forethought; work out what your personal brand is and which aspects of your life provide positive clues to that, then share those. I readily mention I keep bees and chickens as it gives people a softer perception of me than if they just see the stronger, more direct clues like my bright red lipstick and nail polish. But there’s plenty of things I don’t mention because I know they go too far over the line. (No, I’m not going to tell you when I’m due for a bikini wax!)
But as the generations pass and technology makes sharing information easier, people’s senses for what is and isn’t acceptable have been dulled. To see what I mean you’ve only got to look at pictures on Facebook of drunken graduates flashing their body parts or vomiting in the street…the same graduates who are looking for their first job and trying to portray themselves as responsible adults. But it’s not just the youngsters who are doing it – the lady with the smear test is in her late 30s.
So when you’re going about your business today perhaps a bit of self-auditing is in order: listen to yourself, read what you write, and think about the perception you could be creating in other people’s minds. Because if the result is someone whose face looks as horrified as the guy above, you know you’ve just given TMI.
What’s the worst case of TMI you’ve experienced – either that you’ve done or that you’ve received? I’d love to get lots of comments on this one so get typing below…we could all do with a laugh!
*Well, it probably is one of those, but I was using artistic licence to make a point.
What Floats Your Boat?
Instantly improve your personal brand: SMILE!
Do something different with your personal brand
The stand-out CV
Holding a mirror to your personal brand: Part 3
Hi Jenny, nice blog, but I think you’re confusing two problems: unawareness of social media and the ever-changing TMI threshold.
People will gradually become more savvy about posting drunken pix on Facebook, but opinions will always differ about the TMI threshold – and always have.
You are really telling people to be more self-aware, and either they aren’t it just don’t care and may or may not be ready for the consequences. Maybe the smear test and bikini wax revelations are part of their personal brand! As for the guy who threw away his sandwich because a woman sai “smear test” – he should just grow up and get over the immature male’s inability to cope with thoughts of female plumbing.
Hello Bill…long time no speak so hope all is still fine and dandy in the good ole US of A! You’re right that people are getting more savvy about their online presence; I had a woman recently tell me she’s asked a friend to remove pictures from her Facebook page as they were taken at a party when this lady was less that compis mentis. I still think there will be plenty of unaware fools who will continue to generate grimaces (and for the record, the bikini wax was not akin to that lady’s brand – more in keeping with that was another appointment she had noted, which was to help decorate the local church for Christmas).
Can I please take a minute to share one very painful lesson I learned about people who reveal “too much” in their professional personas.
The long story short is that last year a colleague began to overshare far too much about her sex life in explicit and aggressive detail. It was embarassing. But it was not a lack of judgement or carelessness; it was the ratcheting up of a severe dark depression which had plagued her, on and off, for years. Graphic oversharing is a known side effect of severe depression and a warning sign. For her, this particular bout of depression, TMI and all, did not pass. She’s no longer with us.
TMI – if it’s come along very quickly, and “in bulk” – might be more than a simple lack of social grace. I know the warning signs now, though I hope to God I don’t ever see them again.
Hi Heather – Thank you for sharing that other side of what TMI can mean and it’s certainly useful to know for future reference as a flag when someone might be needing help.
This is a tough one Jennifer!!
I am the same person in and out of work…however nobody…and i mean nobody from a work relationship is allowed access on my Facebook…it is fully secured that is my personal space that me and my friends can be idiots and remember stupid nights…i wouldn’t want anyone looking at it so i make it so they cant. If i wouldn’t want someone to see it online then i definetly wouldn’t want it in person.
However on the other hand i used to work in radio and we became a family…it was a team of 3 ladies and 1 man, we were at a point where we were always honest event about the worst stuff but we also knew boundaries.
As to the online i think i read somewhere that in 5 years time we wont even need a CV anymore its all online!
I think sometimes it dignity and common sense.
Hi Esther. I think the difference here is between colleagues you have become ‘family’ with and the circumstance for my male friend whereby they haven’t worked together long and not only did he not want to hear it, it seems the other women in the team didn’t either.
And as for common sense, it astounds me how uncommon it is!
Hi Jennifer.
I was once on the phone to a senior manager, when he asked me to hang on until he got his towel. Seems during our 10 minute conversation he was actually in the shower. At least he’d turned the water off! Help me, I can’t get the pictures out of my head!
And then there was the other senior manager whose phone call was accompanied by running water. Then the flush….
TMI? I should say so!
Sue
Hi Sue – I knew I could count on you to give us some fine examples of TMI – it’s a wonder these people were our bosses?!
Hi Jennifer, USA fine thanks. I wonder if Esther is aware that a growing number of employers ask for Facebook access at job interviews. Candidates can of course refuse, but it hardly helps a job application and raises the obvious question, What have you got to hide? “Pix of me mooning on a stag/hen night, actually” is not an impressive answer!
Bill, I’m shocked! How on earth can an employer seriously ask to access a Facebook account. That’s like asking an applicant to bring in their holiday photos, browsing history and magazine subscriptions. Here’s one candidate who would run very fast and very far. Not because I have anything to hide, because I don’t, but because I could never work for an organisation which thinks such requests are justified. I’m such an innocent soul – I interview people, and if i like them, I hire them. Sometimes life is very simple. Long may it remain so!
I’d have to go with you on this one Sue, although there’s the other side of the coin that in these times of high redundancy, people can’t be choosy. I’m sticking with the overall view that if you don’t want people to see something don’t post it (although as a non-user of Facebook that’s easier for me to say.